Prove it!

Like many parents, I tell Nick that I will check on him before I go to bed and kiss him one last time. Shawn takes him up, reads him a story and tucks him in. Nick has begun a new habit in the last couple of weeks that I just have to share. Before giving in and going to sleep, Nick gives me a stuffed animal off his bed. Each night it is a different stuffed animal. Each night the instructions are the same. When I go into his room at night to check on him, I am to return the stuffed animal to it's rightful place in his bed. This is to prove that I really did go into his room to check on him. The last couple nights he's even gone as far as telling me exactly where in his bed the animal should be placed. I am fascinated by this. I don't know what is more amusing to me, the fact that Nick doesn't trust that I really go in to check on him and he needs proof, or the fact that he came up with such a clever way for me to prove it to him. Either way, I think I'm in for it when he starts questioning the existence of Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. I wonder what we're going to have to do to prove how real they are.

annunciation can be very, very important

So, I go to drop the kids off at school the other day. Nick's preschool teacher calls me into a separate classroom to discuss an issue with me. Uh oh, I'm worried, we can't even talk out in the open, what the hell happened? She proceeds to tell me that they were having a classroom discussion the day prior about getting dressed up. Reasons why people get dressed up, where they would go, etc. Someone mentioned getting dressed up and wearing a wig. The teacher then asks if anyone knows who would wear a wig when they get dressed up. According to the teacher, my Nicholas proudly announces to the whole class that "the blacks do". This baffles the teacher because none of the children, let alone my Nicholas, have ever referred to black people as "the blacks" in the classroom. I'm baffled because first, Shawn and I do not use that phrase, and second, Nicholas is still young enough that, to him, black people are brown. She continues. She asked Nicholas why he would say that and he responds, "because they do. All of them do." When asked how he knows this he tells her that he saw it on TV. I have no idea how to respond to this. I do tell her that, if this is what he said, he couldn't have meant anything derogatory by it. She knows this, but has to bring it to my attention because apparently, one of the other children repeated the conversation to his/her parents who were concerned and questioned the school. Great.

I apologize and tell her that I will speak to Nicholas. At this point the children are cleaning up the toddler room where they're all dropped off in the morning and filtering into their age appropriate classrooms. Nick is playing with/putting away mega bloks. I pull Nick aside, into the bathroom as this is the only place where we can be alone, and I explain that he is not in any trouble, but that I need to ask him about something. The conversation goes as follows:

me: "Your teacher tells me that you told her 'the blacks' wear wigs. Why would you say this?"

Nick: rolls his eyes and slaps a hand against his thigh as if he's had this conversation 400 times. He responds, "no, I told them, the BLOCKS wear wigs!"

me: "Nicholas, do not fib to me, blocks do not wear wigs."

Nick: "They do in that commercial where the daddy and little boy are in a car driving and their hair falls off and they swap hair. And in that movie where they're under water searching for treasure. All the little block people that I have wear wigs. And you can swap their wigs between them."

me: hysterical laughter

Apparently Nick was thinking about the plastic hair that the little Lego people have and he was describing a commercial that currently runs on TV and the cartoon about Lego Atlantis. I'm utterly relieved that my child is not referring to an entire race of people as "the blacks" and cannot wait to share with his teacher (who happens to be black) how misunderstood he was in this instance.

I'm not sure who found the explanation more entertaining, but I'm sure that we all owe Nicholas an apology!

Happy Birthday to Nick (and Shawn)

Groundhogs' day is a very special day in my family. Not only is it the day that Panxsutawney Phil lets us know how much longer we have to wait until spring, it is the day that 2 out of the 3 men in my house were born. Granted their actual days of birth were 35 years apart, but Shawn and Nicholas do share a birthday. This particular year was a biggie because Shawn hit the big 4-0 and Nicholas turned 5. I cannot believe that my little man is already 5-years-old, never mind that I'm married to a 40-year-old. Neither of them act their age - Shawn acts years younger and, at times, Nicholas seems much more mature to me.

For their actual day we didn't do too much. Nicholas brought Ben 10 cupcakes to school for him and his friends to enjoy. Shawn went off to work like any other day. We let Nick pick what we were to have for dinner - pizza - and had a couple people over for a small celebration. Mom-mom, Pop-pop, Uncle Jim, Aunt Diane, Uncle Jose and Anthony all joined us for pizza and cake. It has become tradition that I get a canoli cake for Shawn every year. Since his birthday has been overshadowed by Nick's, I think it's only fair that he gets his favorite cake. Both boys made out well with their gifts this year. Nicholas got the Tangler, Chopper and Fangor Battle Force 5 vehicles from Mommy, Daddy and Evan; the Zelix vehicle from Mom-mom and Pop-pop; the movie Alpha and Omega from Uncle Jim and a Nerf sword and shield set from Diane, Jose, Olivia and Anthony. It was a nice night - the kids had fun playing and the adults got to chit chat for a while before calling it a night. The actual party was scheduled for the following Sunday (super bowl Sunday).

We had a very busy weekend planned. On Saturday, we were expecting cousins from out of town to drive in, in the morning. Then, those cousins, Nick and I were going to head out to Manhattan for another cousin's first birthday party while Shawn went to a tattoo convention with a good friend of ours. I don't know what was more exciting to Nick, going to NYC, riding the train to get there or being able to go with one of his favorite cousins. Then, Sunday morning was Nick's birthday party at Pump it Up. Before the weekend ever began I was exhausted.

Friday night, the boys and I headed out to go shopping for a birthday gift to take to the city. We were nearly to the front door of the store we were heading to when Nick started acting funny. He told me that he was going to be sick and, before he could even finish what he was saying, he threw up right there in the parking lot. I sent Shawn and Evan into the store to get some water and I stayed with Nick to make sure he was done and OK. A couple minutes later he told me that he was fine and we could go inside. I cleaned him up and went inside to find the other half of my family. We were able to shop without incident and Nick seemed to be feeling perfectly fine. Of course, I was still terrified thinking about the weekend we had planned and what this new development meant for those plans.

We finished at that store, but I still needed to run into the book store really quickly. I told Shawn to wait in the car with the boys while I ran inside. I couldn't have been more than 15 minutes, but Nick was passed out in the car by the time I came back out. Obviously he wasn't feeling well, it was 2 hours before bedtime and he was out cold.

We got home and, aside from being tired, Nick seemed OK. I still contacted the out of town cousins to let them know that it was possible Nick was really sick. In the morning Nick seemed better, but still tired. I was not willing to over do it by going to the city and having him too sick to go to his own birthday party, so I contact the cousins and let them know that we weren't going to the city, but that they were still more than welcome to come to our place for the night if they wanted. If not, we totally understood and wouldn't be upset at all. They decided, partly due to a cold on their side as well, to cancel the trip and stay home. We decided we would plan another weekend trip to the city to make it up to the kids.

Shawn still went to the convention as planned and I stayed home with the boys. Nick has been sick before, but he has never acted the way he did on Saturday. He showed no symptoms of being sick other than being a couch potato all day. Nick literally sat on the couch and watched TV all day. He did not get sick, he had no fever, he claimed he felt fine, but him system apparently needed some rest. I did notice that he was not eating very much at all though.

Thankfully, around mid-afternoon, Nick jumped off the couch and started acting like himself. He and Evan ran around and played the rest of the afternoon. I was so relieved that it looked like he would be fine for his party after all. I was beginning to think I was going to have to go and host his birthday party without him.

Sunday morning I was the first one out of bed in the house. I was downstairs getting our things together for the party when Nick came downstairs. He had a big grin on his face and told me that he felt all better and would be able to go to his party! He seemed so happy that his belly did not betray him. The rest of the family woke up in turn and we were off to Pump it Up for Nick's party. I must admit that the thought of Nick bouncing around on giant inflatables was terrifying to me after how he had been acting, but what were we to do?

Thankfully, Nick was able to play to his heart's content without vomiting on any of his guests! I'm not sure which of my kids had more fun, but they both ran around like lunatics. Now, I'm sure hosting a birthday party with a guest list of 25 children is not how Shawn envisioned his 40th birthday to be, but he was a trooper and even seemed to have some fun of his own. After an hour and a half of bouncing, the kids sat down to eat their pizza and cake.

Back at home we unloaded all Nick's loot. He had so many bags and boxes filled with presents I thought we would need an addition on the house to fit it all. Luckily he's a pretty generous kid and packed up a box full of toys to donate just before his birthday to make room for new toys. I think his favorite toys this year were his Nerf swords, his Ben 10 car (from his girlfriend Brielle!) and his Imaginext Batcave.

Once all the presents were opened, all the garbage thrown away and Nick could finally just play with his new toys we all crashed as if we hadn't slept in years. I s'pose the toys will have to wait until after nap.

Evan Has A Dream

Evan is now 2-years-old and in the toddler room at his preschool. On occasion, the kids are assigned homework. Usually their homework is tracing letters or shapes or coloring in a picture. For Martin Luther King, Jr. day, Evan was assigned homework of a different nature. He was asked to write his own 'I have a dream' poem. Now, I'm sure the teachers realize that a 2-year-old, even one as brilliant as mine, cannot write poetry. Therefore, I took it upon myself to write a poem on his behalf. I believe I truly captured Evan's spirit and was able to relay what Evan would have written about had he been able to comprehend the assignment. The poem that Evan turned in read as follows:

Evan Has a Dream

Evan has a dream that, one day, he will live in a land

where all adults beckon to his every command

And in that land, his word would be law

all would obey him, big and small

Every TV would be tuned to PBS, Nick Jr. or Disney

so he could view his Super Why, Wubsy or Mickey

He would be served chicken nuggets upon request

Eat a vegetable? Surly you jest

Playtime for all, any time, every day

these are his rules, this is his way

Never a time out or a harsh disciplinary word

punishing Evan, the thought is absurd

Bath time is meant for bubbles and fun

and squirting Daddy with his water gun

Bedtime is flexible, he'll sleep when he's through

running and jumping and giggling too

Evan has a dream and I hate to admit

he's closer that I'd like, to accomplishing it!

The Polar Express

As I mentioned in my last post, Nicholas has not wanted anything anywhere nearly as badly as he's wanted to ride on the Polar Express. he has asked every Santa, wished on every star and even prayed for a chance to ride on the magical train and head to the North pole. After much drama, we were able to score tickets for the Polar Express ride run by the Delaware River Railroad Excursion in Phillipsburg, New Jersey! We even managed to get a couple extra tickets so Nick could bring his girlfriend Brielle (and her mommy, of course) with us.

We decided not to tell Nick ahead of time about the ride. I was afraid that he would ask 9 million times a day until the day arrived. I think the anticipation of Christmas itself is about all my Nicholas can handle.

Saturday morning I sat Nick down (in front of my video camera) and told him that Santa has called me with some good news and some bad news. I told him that Santa had called to say that he knew Nicholas wanted to ride the Polar Express, but that, unfortunately, he would be far too busy on Christmas Eve to allow Nick to ride with him. Nick looked upset, so I didn't leave him hanging for too long. I then told him that the good news was that, if Nick were able to get into him jammies, Santa said he could ride the Polar Express TONIGHT! Nick slapped himself in the had and fell over in excitement. He then told me that that was, "awesome good news!"

After lunch and nap, Brielle and he mommy met us at the house. We let the kids exchange Christmas presents - Nick got a Battle Force 5 battle action Saber vehicle; Evan got a set of Dinosaur Train figures and Brielle got a ballerina jewelry box and a Hello Kitty necklace and bracelet to go in the jewelry box - loaded them all into my van and headed towards Phillipsburg.

Once we arrived in town - a long ride when you're traveling with 3 over-excited children under the age of 6 - we pulled into a parking lot along the Delaware River and loaded onto a trolley, which took us to the train station. Upon arriving at the train station, I turned in my confirmation e-mail for 6 shiny, golden tickets. Nick was just as excited about his golden ticket as he was about the pending ride. We boarded the train with little incident and immediately started searching for the bathroom. Brielle and I were waiting in line to use the bathroom when she asked the Conductor how long the train ride would be. The Conductor then showed me just how amazing this ride was going to be. She replied by taking a golden pocket watch out of her vest and telling Brielle that the ride would last approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes or as long as it took to reach the North Pole. She then looked more closely at her watch and shouted, "oh my, we're late! We can't be late! I've never been late!" She then pocketed her watch and took off towards the other end of the train in a mad hurry. I had been on the train less than 5 minutes and was already very impressed.

After potty break time was over and we were all seating, a loud "all aboard" echoed through the train car and we were off. It wasn't long before the Conductor was punching tickets. Nicholas and Brielle both got a "B" for believe (though Brielle thinks it was for her name) and Evan got a "L" for lead. Shortly thereafter, the kids were served hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies. I believe that's when a recording of the story, The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg, was played over the intercom. After the story was finished, the train unexpectedly jolted to a stop. The Conductor shouted that there was only one reason the train would stop - it must be caribou! Shortly after that, we reached the North Pole where Santa and his elves took a short break from their toy making to visit with us on the train. Santa and his elves visited with every family and posed for pictures with each child. Every child on board was given a bell - the first gift of Christmas. Brielle's mom and I visited the gift car and bought some goodies for the kids. Then Santa's elves walked through selling stuffed Santa's - of course we picked up a couple of those as well. A ride on the Polar Express wouldn't be complete without a visit from some Hobos, so after Santa returned to the North Pole, a couple Hobos climbed aboard and lead us in some Christmas carols. One of them had a guitar while the other played an accordion and trumpet (not at the same time). By the time they were finished we were nearly back at the station.

While the children were disappointed that they were not able to get off the train while we were at the North Pole, they accepted the explanation that nobody was allowed at the North Pole during Christmas time. I told them that we were lucky that Santa took a break to come and visit with us. When asked about the children in the story who were able to run amok at the North Pole, I explained that I thought that part of the story was made up.

The characters on board the train did a wonderful job entertaining us during the trip. During the lulls, Shawn was able to occupy the children by having them hunt for North Pole Monkeys by shining their flashlight out the train window into the passing woods.

While Evan and Brielle passed out in the car on the way home, Nick was wide awake the whole ride. He even continued to talk to Brielle long after she fell asleep.

This entry was written almost immediately after we rode the train, but an error with the website prevented me from publishing it right away. I then got super busy with the holiday, our annual visit from my in-laws and everyday life. Since I am finally (a month later) getting around to re-typing and publishing this story, I thought I'd ask Nick was his favorite part of the ride was. His answer - "when Santa came on the train with us!" Evan still hollers, "All Aboard" every time he sees a train. Proof that, at least so far, the kids are remembering their magical night!

A Call from Santa Clause

My son, Nicholas, has been wishing on every star he sees for the past several months for a chance to ride the Polar Express this year. He is absolutely obsessed with the movie and has been watching it year round for the past 2 years. Every time he wished for that special train ride I would have to explain that he couldn't ride the Polar Express because it's a special, magical train just for children who don't believe in Santa Clause. It broke my heart to tell him he couldn't do the one thing he was asking to do. Then, one day at work, I Googled 'Polar Express train ride' and just about had a stroke when I saw that, not only do they have a licensed Polar Express train ride, but that it departs from a fairly local train station! Tickets were very cheap and they had multiple rides every weekend from Thanksgiving through Christmas. I was so excited I called Shawn at work and told him that we could make Nick's dreams come true after all. He agreed and told me that we would get tickets. Since that was back in October, I saved the link to my favorites and went back to work.

Fast forward to mid-November. I pulled up the train station's website to order our tickets and, again, nearly had a stroke. They were sold out! Every ticket, every ride, every date. I nearly cried I was so broken hearted. I felt like parents did in 1983 when they couldn't get their hands on a Cabbage Patch Doll. I consulted sites like StubHub, Craigslist and Ebay in search of tickets. I came up empty handed. After days of desperate searches I finally found an add on Craigslist posted by someone who was selling tickets for 2 adults and 1 child. A call to the train station informed me that children under 2-years-old could ride on their parent's lap without a ticket for $1. I immediately contacted the seller telling him that I wanted his tickets, but I was too late. He had already sold them. At that point I posted my own add on Craigslist.

After nearly a week I was contacted by someone selling tickets. She had tickets for 2 adults and 3 children. I was willing to eat the cost of the extra ticket, so I told her that YES, I definitely wanted her tickets. She told me that she would like us to pay her via PayPal and that she would give us her confirmation number that the train station e-mailed her when she purchased the tickets. According to her, they do not issue actual tickets, rather, they e-mail confirmation numbers. At that point I was willing to risk being ripped off for a chance to get these tickets, so I chose to believe her. However, I am not completely naive. I also chose to call the train station to confirm that this was how they sold their tickets before completing the PayPal transaction.

As I was listening to the automated recording that you get when calling the train station my cell phone rang. I hung up the land line and checked my cell phone's caller ID for the incoming phone number. The caller withheld their number. I answered the phone and the conversation I had with the caller went like this:

me: "hello"
caller: "Jessica?"
me: "this is she."
caller: "hello, this is Santa, I'm about to make your dreams come true."

instead of asking when he was giving me a million dollars, I simply replied: "oh yeah?"
caller: "I heard you were looking for Polar Express tickets."
me: "uh huh." (said dripping with scepticism)
caller: "well, I have tickets, so how many do you need?"
me: "who is this really?"
caller: "I told you, it's Santa Clause."
me: "well Santa, I'm actually in the middle of buying tickets off a lady on the internet."
caller: "OK, well then you're all set"
me: "I do know other people who would be interested in your tickets. What do you have?"
caller: "I'm not really interested in other people. I saw your add on Craigslist and chose to help you"

I don't know why exactly, but at this point I was thinking this man had to be an employee at the train station. I guess that's easier to believe than thinking that Santa Clause would track me down at my desk. Anywho, the conversation continued:

me: "oh, well I was actually in the process of calling the train station when I answered your call. I have general ticketing questions. Does Santa know anything about ticketing?"
caller: "Santa knows everything about everything. What's your question?"
me: "the person I'm buying the tickets off of has 2 adult and 3 children's tickets. Would it be possible to upgrade one of those children's tickets to an adult ticket? And, if so, can we then also add in a lap sitter?"
caller: "which date and time are your tickets for?"
me: "December 18th at 6:00"
caller: "oh, you're buying Jan's* tickets."
me: "how'd you know that?!"
caller: "I told you, I'm Santa Clause. Jan bought her tickets over the summer and it turns out her daughter is in a play that day so they can't go." (this is all information that Jan did provide to me during our conversation the day prior)
me: "wow"
caller: "we should have no problem getting you on that train, just throw an donation in the donation jar and, if anyone questions you, tell them Santa said it was OK."

Before ending my conversation with Santa, I also confirmed that I only needed a confirmation number to get onto the train. I then hung up the phone and immediately called Shawn and told him to finalize the PayPal transaction. I explained that I just got a call from Santa himself and that we're apparently meant to be on this train.

The game plan is for us to give 2 of the tickets to my friend so she and her daughter (Nick's girlfriend) can join us. This works out perfectly because several days ago her daughter asked a teacher at her after school program if Santa was real or not. The idiot teacher told her that Santa was not real and that mommies and daddies buy all the Christmas presents. She was able to convince her daughter that the teacher was wrong - "I guess she thinks Santa's not real because she's on the naughty list and never gets presents from him!" - and that Santa is, in fact, real. I'm sure that this excursion will go a long way towards proving that he does exist for my friend's daughter. If the train ride doesn't prove it, I had a phone conversation that certainly proved his existence to me!

Empathy of a Four-Year-Old

This past Saturday, I noticed that our cat, Bullet, seemed to be quite sick. I will not go into too many details, but he had lost a significant amount of weight in a very short period of time. I made an emergency vet appointment and took him to see the doctor. During the examination, the vet found that Bullet was not only loosing weight rapidly, but he was also very jaundice and anemic. This most likely pointed towards his liver and/or kidneys not working properly. The vet explained that we had three options: put him to sleep then and there, run hundreds of dollars worth of diagnostic tests or take him home with medication and hope the meds helped. We chose to try the medication. We took him home with steroids, antibiotics, vitamins and an appetite stimulant. Unfortunately, Tuesday night, Bullet passed away in our laps.

Shawn and I decided that we were going to bury him in the woods behind our house like we had with our bearded dragons when they passed away. I think Evan's still too young to understand what was going on. It was after Nick was already asleep when Bullet passed, so we had to tell him today.

Bullet was Shawn's cat before we met, so, although he was OUR cat for the past 10 years, he was SHAWN'S cat even longer. As hard as this was on me, I believe it was harder on Shawn. I offered to be the one to tell Nick so that Shawn wouldn't have to. I wanted to be able to talk to him in the car on the way home, but I wanted to tell him face-to-face before we got into the car. When I went to pick him up from school, I pulled him aside and quickly explained what happened.

Nick was home with me when I noticed that Bullet was sick initially, so I asked if he remembered that Bullet had been sick. He said that he did. I told him that we were not able to get him better and that he died last night. Nick seemed taken back by the abruptness of my statement, but he didn't seem all that sad. That may sound harsh, but this made me happy. Of course I didn't want my son to be sad. I let him run off and play with his friends for a few minutes while I filled the teachers in so they would be prepared if/when Nick brought it up at school.

In the car on the way home Nick told me several times that he was very sad for Bullet. I explained to him that he didn't need to be sad for Bullet, that he was in a better place and no longer stuck inside a sick body. Nick and I have discussed souls before (in his words, a soul is the part that God puts in when a mommy and daddy are making a baby) so I thought he would understand that Bullet's soul went to heaven. He didn't have very many questions, but he did ask why he got sick and what kind of sick he had. The vet thought it might be cancer, but Nick's too young to know what cancer is or to understand the explanation. The last question that he asked me was, "mommy, do you know how you say goodbye to a cat?" I asked, "how?" He responded, "you just pet them on their backs and tell them goodbye." I told him that Bullet would like that very much.

When took Nick out with us for the burial. Nick said that he wanted to pet him and say goodbye. Shawn carried Bullet out to the woods with Nick following behind. We all pet him and I explained to Nick again that Bullet's soul was free to run and play as much as he wanted now and was not trapped inside a sick body anymore. When it came time to actually bury him Shawn and I were noticeably upset and started to cry. That's when my little boy said to Shawn, "Daddy, if you keep crying, you're going to make me cry too."

It melted my heart that Nick was so empathetic towards his daddy that simply hearing him cry would bring Nick to tears as well. I'm sure that Shawn and I will forever miss Bullet. I'm not sure if Nick will remember him in the years to come, but I am sure that the lessons he learned tonight will stay with him for life.